It’s good to talk!
No one knew that better than John Lewis who
for so many years served this church in the service of his Master. John knew how important that was because he
was a good listener. That’s why he was
appointed our Senior Deacon. That’s what
drew him to the Samaritans. It was his
gift as a listener that drew the Samaritans locally to appoint him their
Director and the Samaritans nationally to make him a Vice President.
They both loved literature and specially
loved Shakespeare. They went regularly
to Stratford. Ten years ago in March
they saw their last play together: it was King Lear. Shortly after, Hilary’s illness worsened and
she knew it would not long before her passing.
She it was who decided that she wanted us all to share the very last six
lines of King Lear at the thanksgiving service after her death.
It’s good to talk about death. And good to talk about the death we know we
will face at some point. What a morbid
topic for the weekend of the Queen's Birthday celebrations when we are having our very own Street Party with neighbours from the Terrace! For us as Christians, it is not a morbid topic. It’s a topic we can talk about because we
know ‘death has been swallowed up in victory; death has lost its sting.’ It has always been one of the loveliest parts
of my ministry when people have talked with me about their own death and what
they would like to happen. It has been
my privilege subsequently to sit with their close ones and very occasionally
with the medical professionals sharing their thoughts as I recall them and often
as they have written them down. And all
done in the ‘sure and certain hope of resurrection to eternal life through our
Lord Jesus Christ’.
It's good to talk in anticipation of our
own death.
And it’s good to talk following the death
of a loved one. Maybe that’s what Hilary
knew as she anticipated the sadness we would all be feeling at that service of
thanksgiving.
The last six lines of King Lear are made of
three couplets. The middle couplet sums
up all that meant so much to John Lewis as a good listener and a good
‘Samaritan’.
The weight of this sad time we must obey;
Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.
Our society is facing a major crisis in
mental health among young people. In
response to that crisis the decision was taken to appoint a mental health
champion for schools. When I googled
‘mental health champion’ two consecutive headlines caught my eye.
The first read, “First ever mental health
champion for schools unveiled” 30 Aug 2015 - The Department for Education's (
DfE ) first ever mental health champion for schools will help to raise
awareness and reduce the stigma around ... young people’s mental health”
The second read, “Mental health champion
for UK schools axed after criticising ... 4 May 2016 - The government has
dropped its mental health champion for schools after she publicly criticised
current education policies, in particular the testing regime which she claims
is detrimental to children’s mental health.”
John was a teacher, as was his wife
Hilary. John taught French. Hilary taught English. As fellow teachers and pupils at his
thanksgiving testified, and as former pupils testified too, they were both the
kind of teachers who inspired as they excelled in their teaching. Natasha Devon has some very disturbing things
to say about what’s happening in our schools to our children, and for that
matter to our teachers. The relentless
grind of children having to face questions that require either a yes or a no so
that their teachers can spend hours inputting the data they collect into their
computers for other teachers to spend hours analyzing that data is damaging to
the mental health of the children and of the teachers concerned.
In one of the reports that accompanied that
news someone asked what mental health is.
In their reflections they suggested that mental health is about what’s
going on inside us in the gap between what we know we feel inside and what we
let other people see. The point is that
all of us have issues with our mental health at one time or another. When the gap between what we feel and what we
let others see is towards the small end, that’s when our mental health is
reasonably well. As that gap increases
so that’s an indication that our mental health is not so good.
That’s the kind of moment when it’s good to
talk. And it’s good to find someone who
will be able to listen. That’s the
tragedy we see unfolding in our schools.
Because of all that data inputting and intensive marking and because of
the enormous reduction in mental health services for children and young people
there are fewer and fewer people with the time to listen.
At the same time social media exposes young
people to those who are not ‘good’ listeners, whose often inappropriate
comments exacerbate the disturbed feelings of our children and young people in
a way that no previous generation has experienced before.
That’s what makes it so important to heed
the wisdom in those two lines at the very end of King Lear.
The weight of this sad time we must obey;
Speak what we feel, not what we ought to
say
It’s what prompted the founding of the
Samaritans. I will never forget the day
one of the leading Samaritans in Cheltenham spoke at Highbury. Because of John’s involvement one of the
monthly charities we support is the local branch of Samaritans here in
Cheltenham. That Sunday John had
arranged for one of their branch to speak in the service. He spoke before the sermon. Had he spoken afterwards, he told me later,
he would have had much more to say!
I was preaching on a passage that appears
in Matthew 9:18-26, Mark 5:21-43 and Luke 8:40-56. Jairus, a leader of the synagogue asked Jesus
to come to his house as his only daughter, “about twelve years old” was
dying. As he went to see her Jesus was
stopped by a woman who had suffered from severe bleeding “for twelve years”.
In my sermon I recalled how I have a shelf
of commentaries on the New Testament practically all written by men. None of them made the connection obvious to a
woman. It is only in the last thirty
years that commentaries have been published in any numbers by women . They do make the connection.
I am an only child who went to a boys
secondary school who had only read commentaries by men. And so I had not until just before then made
the connection. The onset of menstruation
is around the age of 12. Is it possible
the girl’s illness had something to do with what was happening to her body?
I don’t recall how I developed that theme
in my preaching. What I do remember is
the comment made by John’s fellow-Samaritan after the service. If only he had spoken after my sermon! That’s why the Samaritan movement started.
Chad Varah was a young curate in London
when he was asked to do a tragic funeral for a twelve year old girl who had
taken her own life. When he spoke with
the family in readiness for the service he learned that the girl had just
started her periods and was terrified at what was happening to her. The norms of her society and the culture of
her family was such that she felt she could not talk.
Those very same norms in society and that very same culture in her family meant that no one was prepared to listen.
The girl came to the conclusion that she
had contracted an unbelievably painful and life-threatening illness that could
not be cured and so she decided to end her own life.
Chad Varah vowed to do all he could to
ensure that such a person would be able to talk and that someone would be there
to listen.
So it was that he founded what has become
an international organization, The Samaritans, who are always there to listen
at any time of the day … so long as people are prepared to talk.
Later in this edition of Highbury News is
the tribute I paid to John. Who knows
someone reading this may be prompted to offer themselves to serve as a
Samaritan. Someone else may be prompted
to pick up the phone and ring the Samaritans.
Both would be paying John the finest tribute he would want to have.
The weight of this sad time we must obey;
Speak what we feel, not what we ought to
say
